10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know
When finding out I was having a little girl, I was overjoyed by the thought of having a mini me running around. The joy quickly turned into panic and I instantly started making a list of all the things that I wanted to teach her and the kind of mom that I wanted to be. Being a woman in this world isn't always the easiest task. We have a bunch of things that we are expected to be. The one thing that I don't want for my daughter is to get caught up in the superficial but, to keep these ten things in mind.
She can trust me
Your relationship with your parents is the first relationship that you have in life. That relationship is essential to your upbringing and how you maneuver through life. I want my daughter to know that she can trust me with anything. I always want to provide a safe place that she come to in this cold world. To know that even though I am her mom, I am also someone that has her back through it all.
2. She is beautiful beyond words.
Beauty is a huge area that women feel a lot of pressure. I need my child to know that her natural curly hair and tan skin is perfect. That she will never need anything to boost her outer appearance and that her inner self is even more beautiful. The personality traits that she posses are what makes her, her. I want her to feel confident in who she is and stand tall.
3. It’s not her job to make the people that she loves happy.
It’s not her job to make me, her father, grandparents, cousins, and whoever else happy. The only person’s happiness that is her responsibility is her own. We are all in charge of what makes us happy individually and often put too much emphasis on others doing things to make us feel joy. I want her to know she is responsible for her emotions and that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do in hopes to bring a smile on somebody elses face.
4. Never take things personally.
People are mean but when harsh things are said they are not a reflection of you but of the person that's saying them. I wish that she will take constructive criticism but will not take insults or actions from others and make them her own.
5. Her opinion matters.
Adults like to discredit children and their opinions. I believe in treating children with respect just like you would another adult or person, they are people too. I want her to voice her concerns and share with me how she is feeling about things. Even if it isn't in alignment with what I am saying, I still want her to know that her voice matters.
6. To not limit herself due to fear
Kids are fearless and as a parent this is scary at first. Watching your kid dive face first off of a slide isn’t always ideal. However, I don't want my daughter to ever lose this sense of fearlessness. I want her to always tackle things no matter how big or small. I never tell her she can’t do something even if it is going down a huge slide that isn't meant for one year olds. Instead, I get on the slide with her and enjoy the ride. We all act out of fear at one point or another in our lives because we don't want to fail but failures are what lead to big success.
7. She matters and is valuable
I personally sometimes feel like if I were to disappear if the earth, I wouldn’t be missed. This is a really crappy feeling and I just simply don't want her to feel this way. Ever. She is important and she matters. No matter what anyone ever tells her, her presence is needed and she is here for a reason.
8. Life is hard, but don't give up.
We all have our obstacles in life. Nothing worth having comes easy and sometimes it’s easy to succumb to being a victim. Remembering that every season comes with its lessons and that after darkness always comes light. It’s easy to get caught up in the past and the bad things but to just remained focused on the good in life and to always keep going.
9. Knowledge is power
This is something that my mother has always told me. There is nothing wrong with being smart, it’s actually a super power. The more you know the more success you can manifest in your life. Always read, always write, always share your knowledge.
10. I mess up and I am not perfect. However, I love you.
Being a mother is a journey in itself. Just like she is learning how to maneuver through life for the first time, this is my first time being a mom. As humans, we are a work in progress. I hope that she sees how hard I am working to break cycles and build a strong foundation. To know that no matter what I love her more than she will ever know.