ABORTION: these laws are ridiculous

This is a picture of my daughter and I. Being her mom is the best title that I have. Some days are long and some are easy. My pregnancy wasn't the best experience in life and I felt unsure if I even wanted to be a mom for the entire 9 months. When the doctor told me it was time to start pushing, my heart rate instantly spiked and I looked at her dad and told him I wasn't ready. In a matter of 30 minutes, I was a really a mom. I had a naked baby laying across my chest screaming her lungs out as her dad and I sat there in exhausted disbelief. I always knew I loved her and I envisioned how great our life would be together (and it is). I was on autopilot emotionally for about two weeks after her birth and then one day as my beautiful girl was sleeping, I broke down. All the emotions that I was pushing away came out. The joy, love and happiness I felt for being blessed to be her mom were accompanied by stress, disappointment and anger I had for every other life situation going on simultaneously.

All of this is coming from a woman who instantly considered getting an abortion once she saw the two pink lines on her pregnancy test. It was something that I debated about back and forth for months. I was 21, living with my boyfriend (her father) at the time, partying every weekend, serving tables, and just simply living my best life. I never ever wanted children and had big dreams to travel the world once I graduated college. Her father and I were no place financially or romantically to have a baby. However, I knew in my spirit that I was meant to have this little girl and I do not regret my decision one bit. People around me were disappointed that I choose to embark on the journey of single motherhood and I was told that I was ruining my life. I knew that I was changing the trajectory of my life but I was (and still am ) willing to make it work.

The beauty in all of this is though my pregnancy was unplanned, I had options. I had the ability to make the choice for myself to be a mother. Setting off on this adventure was not an easy thing to do. I decided that abortion personally was not for me but even though I picked to keep my pregnancy, I still struggled throughout it and postpartum. Imagine if I didn't have the choice and was instantly forced to be a mother. What kind of relationship do you think I’d have with my daughter? Pregnancy isn't an easy thing to go through between the drastic emotional and physical changes. Postpartum doesn't make things any easier either.

I am in a very fortunate situation as I was almost finished with my bachelors degree and my family was in a position to help. I uprooted my life and moved four hours away from her father and finished school online. It all sounds simple but, I was the only one waking up with a newborn every two hours paired with taking 15 credit hours online with no internet access at my house. Luckily, I was able to stay home with my daughter for the first 9 months as I was blessed to have a great maternity leave program at my previous employer that helped to support myself and my daughter during my time off. I also saved a lot of money during my pregnancy in efforts to make sure I was appropriately prepared.

The odds are truly against mothers in this world. In order to get any kind of assistance from our government here in VA, you basically cannot work or have to work an extremely low paying job. So what about the moms who don't have family help? Or the moms who are nowhere close to getting their degrees? What about the insanely high day care cost that you have to pay to even go to work? What about the men who impregnate women and never have to pay a dime to take care of them?

The thing that people need to realize is that no one truly wants to get an abortion. Terminating a pregnancy is sometimes something that you have to do due to the circumstances that you are facing. Motherhood is no easy task and it is offensive that people are passing it off as if taking care of child is something simple. As a mother, I believe that it is so important for a woman to be able to have control of her body and the choice to birth a child. Sure there are contraceptives but they aren't 100% and most of them have a ton of side effects. Again, a woman shouldn't be forced to take medication that makes her sick to avoid insane reproduction laws.

Just because YOU wouldn't get an abortion, it is not you place to judge someone else for doing so. I am blessed to be a mother and I am so glad that I had a health pregnancy and baby. If you cannot have children it is not your place to force someone else to have them. It’s about time that we as a society learn to mind our “mother fucking god damn business” *in kevin harts voice*