How To Gain Clarity on Who You Are
I started a conversation by asking someone to tell me an interesting fact about them that I wouldn’t know. After a few pondering seconds, there was an answer. When the question was flipped to me, five minutes went by while I anxiously searched the archive of my memories. This small question made me realize how much of me I associate with others. I noticed that I have allowed anything interesting about me to be tainted by what others have said or done. This self-reflecting inquiry has left me searching for who I really am.
I am done carrying around guilt and shame for other people and refuse to live the rest of my life unfulfilled and detached from who I truly am. I want to get to know me. In 2020, I am also challenging you to get to the root of who you really are.
Finding yourself isn’t an easy feat and will not happen over-night. Just like an onion, we have many layers that need to be peeled back. The first step is starting and I am here to help you get on a journey to finding your roots.
Get clear on what you like and what you don’t like
This is as simple as it sounds. We often let people walk all over us and are scared to set boundaries. We are not doing that anymore, boundaries are being placed and we are no longer letting people treat us like a doormat. Get real with yourself and speak up about the things that you do like and don’t.
What are you good at?
We are taught to be humble and that bragging isn’t socially acceptable. Which there is a fine line between confidence and conceited but that is a different conversation. This is another listing exercise to let down your walls and truly think about the things that you do well. I am positive that the list is a lot longer than you think it is.
Trust yourself
This is the biggest thing for me. We worry so much about not trusting others but, do we even trust ourselves? As people, we are constantly letting ourselves down by saying we are going to do something and then never acting. This, in turn, creates self-doubt and distrust in oneself. To get better at this, you must remain self-disciplined. Start by setting smaller goals, like making your bed every morning and add on to that at your own pace. Once you do this, you’ll be amazed at all the things you are able to accomplish.
Now that I have given you some tips on how to find yourself, you’re probably wondering “so, who is Kaleb McAfee?”
I am an outgoing, adventurous, daring twenty four year old destined to break stereotypes, travel the world, and write about it along the way. I am a great mother who loves her daughter deeply. I am a kind and caring friend. I am an intelligent black woman who will achieve her desired level of success. I am me, Kmac, Kaleb, or Mommy. I am what I choose to be and who I am is not defined by the thoughts or actions of others.
