Twenty-Five. The age when we all thought that we would be married, with a huge mansion, millionaires, and maybe 3 kids. Instead, we are sitting on twitter talking about our quarter-life crisis and feeling like we are running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are people that are doing the dang thing but, let’s be real. Your twenties are w e i r d because everyone is on a completely different path.

Year 24 feels like a whirlwind. So much happened, so much growth, and transformation it’s strange to look back on who I was. However, it was an emotional year for me. I feel like every month there was some tragic event or some fire that I needed to put out. There was no room to be intentional with my movement, only reacting to the events quickly and hoping for the best. Living that way for the last year has been exhausting and provided many lessons to learn. Thankfully, everything always seems to work out for me, no matter how bad things seem.

Entering 25, I wasn’t happy. I did not enjoy my birthday at all like I normally do. First, my arm was turned into a chew toy by a family dog and I ended up with 22 stitches. I was slightly devastated that I was missing 3 to make it 25 (this is me joking and laughing awkwardly about a traumatic situation because I am still struggling to accept what happened lol). Secondly, I realized that I was turning 25 and doing the same thing that I was doing when I was 21. The only difference was I had no true friends in the room with me (I left with some new friends though). I felt so alone and pathetic. I realized that even though I’ve been working hard on strengthening relationships and building friendships, I was putting my eggs into the wrong baskets. We don’t stay in dark places for long though, we analyze and grow from it.

Over the last few months, I have kinda started this thing, it wasn’t intentional it just happened. A lot of the events that have taken place in my life over the last 6 months tend to have a theme and have showcased where I need to heal. For example, the month of June highlighted the words, value, and respect. The situation with the dog has sent me down a path of self-reflection and turning inwards. I learned that I should not have to perform for people to show them that I am valuable or that they should respect me. I realized that I have put so much power in trying to prove to people that I am of value which in turn devalues my self-worth. June taught me to stop begging people and to know my own value and if people can’t see it….they can kick rocks. There has been so much healing that has taken place of the last year. It’s mind-blowing because all of the sudden things are just starting to click.

I was in a clearer headspace last year. I was grounded and I felt like I knew who I was. Turning 25 has made me take a step back and truly pinpoint the kind of life I want to have, the people I wish to be surrounded by, the boundaries I need, and most importantly the kind of woman that I aspire to be.

Last year, I wrote this blog post and all of these things still ring true. To keep the energy going, the top things that I learned by 24 are as follows:

Examine the rooms you are in. If you are often the smartest person in the room, find a new room
Fear will talk you out of almost anything, so just do it.
Protect yourself and energy enough to know whether a problem is yours to carry or not
You have to accept people for where they are and sometimes that means that they just cannot join you on your journey...and that’s okay.
Figure out who you are and stand true in that.
People will try to make you small but don’t allow them too, Shine your light no matter how angry it makes people.
Blessings always show up, even it is an odd way.
If you don’t do it...the universe/God will make it happen one way or another
Your value is not based on anyone else’s perception of you
It’s scary to be alone but, often, it’ll be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Quarter Life Crisis