How To Have A Successful Hot Girl Summer
It is the year of hot girl summer and hoe phases. If you are on TikTok, you will see video after video of girls screaming to the sun about how they are going to win this Megan Thee Stallion inspired summer.
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Of course, I love to cause chaos on my personal TikTok and I brought up how your hoe phase in your later half of your twenties hits ENTIRELY different. Of course, the ladies of the Tok agreed and sent that video to the TikTok gods who pushed it onto FYP’s across the world. Little did I know, women would come flocking to the comments urging us twenty-somethings to just wait until we hit our thirties or forties. A few even dropped that the post divorce hoe phase is the best one yet!
Thinking back, I was actually rather wholesome in college, I never had a one night stand with a random person, didn't do dating apps, and quite honestly most of the men I slept with are ones that I dated to some extent.
Like most through the pandemic, I started an unintentional but, slightly intentional celibacy period. However, when I got to the eight month period I started questioning my why behind doing it. I realized that I wasn't doing it for me but, to people please others. I didn’t want to be perceived poorly by others but, it clicked that my sex life is just that, mine. Yours is yours! So I decided to reclaim it and strut towards my best hoe phase yet.
Before we go any further, let’s discuss what a hoe phase even is. To me, a hoe phase is when you are truly just enjoying yourself. It has little to do with anyone else and everything to do with you. It's doing all the things that make you feel good, empowered and not caring about the opinions of others. Whether you are sleeping with multiple people, dating around, flirting, or even just looking, it is completely up to you to decide what it is for you.
Here are some of my top tips that I wish someone would have shared with me!
Step 1: To have a good hoe phase you have to acknowledge that you are in a hoe phase and set your intentions. You know that you are just having fun with no desire for a real commitment. Moving forward, it means that you are not going to catch feelings for these hoes.
Step 2: Build up your roster. In your roster, you need a starting 5, bench warmers and the court side seaters. A player can drop off at any point and you need to be ready to add someone to the top 5 at any point in time.
Step 3: Again don't catch feelings food these hoes!! Don't allow them to mentally drain you! Don't allow them to emotionally drain you! Simple entanglements only. The simpler the better.
Step 4: You need to be honest because karma will come back around and bite you in the ass if you are not. Don’t lead people on making them think that the situation will amount to something when you know it won't. Call a biscuit a biscuit. Let them know you enjoy their company, the sex or the whatever, but arent really looking for a relationship right now. This gives that person a choice in whether they would like to continue your situation or not.
Step 5: Gotta have some thick skin. The worst thing is realizing that your star player also probably has hoes and sometimes you might not be number one.
Step 6: Be smart, be safe. Use protection, especially if you are doing things casually. Protect yourself because you never know what the other person is doing and you do not want to get caught slipping.
Step 7: Fuck the opinions of others. As I said earlier, do what makes you feel good and empowered. Don't do anything that makes you feel anything else.
Step 8: Get to hoeing!!!! Now is your time to shine!
As I said earlier, your hoe phase is about you! Make it what you want it to be and dont allow other people to dim your shine! What are you looking forward to this hot girl summer? Let me know in the comments.
