How do you heal? What is it?

Healing. Something that many of us, if not all of us are told that we need to do. No human is perfect and we all go through traumatic experiences in our lives. These events shape us into the people we are today. However, not working through these traumas can impact your life in a negative way and make you cold. 

How does one heal? That’s the question that I found myself spiraling down the rabbit hole on late at night. Is it just journaling? Do I need a therapist to help me work through every tiny detail? And even if I do that, how do I know that I am “healed”?

As usual, I took it to the internet and got some opinions and insights on how others view healing. When I asked my internet family, I think we all sat and pondered at the thought for a while and no one really had an answer. One friend even shared that the simple question left them stumped for days and that they still do not have an answer.

I believe that when we think about the word “heal” we are looking at it as a wound on our body. We see it and we can feel it. We nurture it back to health and boom, the scab falls off and we forget about it. However, healing trauma doesn’t always work like that, it never goes away. No matter how much healing you do, it will always be there in the back of your mind. While you may not think about it every day, there will be triggers that will test how far you have come on your journey.

I’ve concluded, that healing is a state of accepting and letting go. Finding your self worth to know that you are still deserving of love, happiness, and success despite any bullshit that has happened to you in this life. It’s a place where you stop looking for the answers as to why these things happened and just accepting that they did. It’s you taking responsibility for how you feel about the situation and no longer looking at others to acknowledge those feelings or even apologize. It’s not necessarily forgiving but something along the lines so that you can move forward. As much as it sucks to say, sometimes bad things just happen and you won’t always get an apology.

There is no final state of being healed. It is a never-ending process of working through shit. It’s a state of loving yourself so much that you won’t allow bad things or bad people to make you cold. Loving yourself enough to let it go and want better for yourself. It sounds intimidating but, that is the beauty of life….there is always more. 

So yes, 

• Write in that journal 

• Cut off the toxic

• See a therapist

• Soak up sun 

• Feel the emotions

• Let it go

Do all the things. Do your best to find the joy even on the bad days and accept that some days just really suck but, never stop going.